November 16th, 2004
Hey LiveJournal people!
I know, I know, once again I have been terrible for updating. But my "parental figures" suddenly decided that I was spending too much time on the computer and banned me from it. Well, I guess since it was obvious that even that couldn't make me "go out and play" with the other kids, I am now back in wonderful computer land. Thank god for that!!! I was going crazy without my music or my online pals.
What's new? Well, it's midterms right now at school. What a fucknig waste of time! I told my Science teacher I was going to fail anyway so there was no point in me even trying to take it. He pretty well agreed with me. Fuck, I hate absolutely everyone in my school, they are all such fucking animals. One if the girls that sits beside me in English was trying to get me to give her all these notes she missed and I was like "Why the fuck would you think I would have them?" to which she replied "Well, what are you even doing here then?" And I hate to say, but she has a point. I always said as soon as I graduate I would get the fuck out of this shithole and move to the city where I could be away from these idiots. But now I am starting to think, what's the point in even waiting? Ugh! I don't know, I am just so tired of all of these stupid people trying to think they know me. They think just because I wear black and listen to Marilyn Manson or something that they have me all figured out, but they're not even fucking close.
Fuck, anyway, that's all for nowI guess. I am going to go smoke a bowl and hide in my room until the "adults" go to bed.
Hope everyone is doing well.
"I am not sorry, I am not sorry. This is what, you deserve."
Current Mood: crappy
Current Music: Holy Wood album by MM on repeat
August 27th, 2004
Hi guys, I am back.
I'm sorry I haven't been around to update or comment. But I hope everything is doing good for everyone and everyone is staying strong.
Things are feeling pretty good these days, so I will have lots to be updating about soon enough.
Anyway, I just wanted to say I am back and look forward to reading up on what's been going on with everyone.
~ "This was never my world, you took the angel away, I kill myself to make everybody pay"
Current Mood: bad grrl
May 30th, 2004
How does this always happen?
I swear I set myself up for shit because I like to feel pain.
Every time I try to be close to someone and let them in it's like I'm slapped in the face face with it.
It's like the are laughing in my fucking face abd I can't take it.
How does a person go on without anyone who cares about them?
Isn't being loved one of those things that people need to survive.
Well, obviously not because I have gone my whole life without it.
No one even notices I am alive. It's like they only care whenI am fucking something up or I do something wrong.
They don't appreiciate anything about me.
I guess all I can do is give up.
And live my life as a useless shell of a human being.
Current Mood: crushed
May 25th, 2004
i am so full of hate right now.
just let me be.
im tired of feeling like this
Current Mood: bitchy
May 17th, 2004
Why do I even try?
All these people make me feel like shit anyway.
I finally get the courage to make some sort of effort or gesture and he laughs in my face.
Teach me to try and have some sort of human contact.
Fuck, I can only take wave after wava after wave of theis bullshit before I can't take anymore.
I just want someone to come save me.
To make me feel important.
To make me feel like there is a fucking reason to be here.
Fuck, what's the point?
Current Mood: rejected
April 29th, 2004
Fuck, I hate that school so much. Just being back there reminds me of how fucking awful it is. So many fucking meatheads that think they can judge me just because of how I look. I fucking hate this place. I just wanna get out of here. There isn't a single person out here that has any clue who I am. Not that they would want to know anyways. I'm totally going to save out and get the fuck out of this shithole by the end of the summer. Ugh! I don't know. I am just going to sleep until my dad comes home and ruins whatever peace I have right now.
Current Mood: bitchy
April 25th, 2004
So, this is my first entry into my new Live journal.
From what I hear, it's really good place to vent and talk about stuff without having to worry about being judged.
I have a lit going on right now that I could probably stand to vent about, so hopefully this works out ok.
Well, I guess that's all for now.
"...just copies of an imitaion..."
Current Mood: numb